Sheesh people! Curious minds want to know!
Calls, emails, Facebook messages, friends run into—Annie! Mr. Tall, Smart, and Wickedly Witty? What up with that?!?
(Molly Monet of Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce advised a little discretion and she was, as usual, wise. I likely should have waited to spill the proverbial beans on this romantic, um… whatever it is. But I was, um… kinda EXCITED.)
Risk-taking? I’m so over that. Well, I thought I was.
“Excuse me,” a friend asked, “is that a chink in your Iron Maiden armor?”
So it is. (Bring on the fear and insecurity, baby.)
Why this guy? has been the repeated question. There have been a handful of interested suitors and I’ve taken as many passes, “I’m very flattered, but I’m really not available.”
(The possibility remains that I will very delicately say that very thing to this very guy, too—Increasingly, I don’t think so, but who knows? Fate and life and our responsibilities may draw and quarter the fresh beast. Still, Mr. Tall, Smart, and Wickedly Witty (MTSWW) is different.)
He is different from anyone I have ever been involved with. He is different from me. If either of us had profiles on dating sites, we wouldn’t likely have been vetted a match by any logical algorithm. Perhaps that should be a big red flag. It isn’t. Honestly, all the people I love best wouldn’t have been chosen as potential intimates by algorithms. The thing I have in common with the people I love is a profound psychological connection, a resonance, a depth of “realness” that others don’t get or dismiss or even find disconcerting or mock-worthy.
MTSWW is rapidly becoming an emotional intimate. I know emotional intimacy can easily be mistaken for love when it isn’t or isn’t yet. I’m wary. I’m scared. I’m fighting the urge to run and hide behind the nearest… excuse.
My heart is already all up in it in a way that is probably foolish, likely foolish. Romantic love is, after all, a fool’s endeavor. I’m no fool.
I asked you to send help, Dear Readers. You’ve been no help at all!
Oh, by the way, MTSWW is reading, too. Feel free to say “hi.”