The Harm in Talking

Sheesh people! Curious minds want to know!

Calls, emails, Facebook messages, friends run into—Annie! Mr. Tall, Smart, and Wickedly Witty? What up with that?!?

(Molly Monet of Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce advised a little discretion and she was, as usual, wise.  I likely should have waited to spill the proverbial beans on this romantic, um… whatever it is. But I was, um… kinda EXCITED.)

Risk-taking? I’m so over that. Well, I thought I was.

“Excuse me,” a friend asked, “is that a chink in your Iron Maiden armor?”

So it is.  (Bring on the fear and insecurity, baby.)

Why this guy? has been the repeated question.  There have been a handful of interested suitors and I’ve taken as many passes, “I’m very flattered, but I’m really not available.”

(The possibility remains that I will very delicately say that very thing to this very guy, too—Increasingly, I don’t think so, but who knows? Fate and life and our responsibilities may draw and quarter the fresh beast. Still, Mr. Tall, Smart, and Wickedly Witty (MTSWW) is different.)

(Hans) Sebald Beham, (1500-1550), Die Dame und der NarrHe is different from anyone I have ever been involved with. He is different from me. If either of us had profiles on dating sites, we wouldn’t likely have been vetted a match by any logical algorithm.  Perhaps that should be a big red flag. It isn’t.  Honestly, all the people I love best wouldn’t have been chosen as potential intimates by algorithms.  The thing I have in common with the people I love is a profound psychological connection, a resonance, a depth of “realness” that others don’t get or dismiss or even find disconcerting or mock-worthy.

MTSWW is rapidly becoming an emotional intimate.  I know emotional intimacy can easily be mistaken for love when it isn’t or isn’t yet. I’m wary. I’m scared. I’m fighting the urge to run and hide behind the nearest… excuse.

My heart is already all up in it in a way that is probably foolish, likely foolish. Romantic love is, after all, a fool’s endeavor. I’m no fool.


I asked you to send help, Dear Readers.  You’ve been no help at all!

Oh, by the way, MTSWW is reading, too. Feel free to say “hi.”

14 comments to The Harm in Talking

  • Liadan

    I’m happy for you. Gives me hope. But go slow. Don’t make any plans yet. Get to know each other for at least two years before moving in or marriage. How’s that for advice and help?

    And, enjoy yourself!

    MTSWW-You break our Annie’s heart and we will rip yours out! You be good to her, hear?

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    • MTSWW wishes to remain an enigma for the time being. He’s afraid the Vegan Mafia will come after him for any missteps! (Smart man.)

  • Ha! Too late for discretion. When have I ever been caught suggesting discretion anyways? :)
    Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce recently posted..Traveling SoloMy Profile

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  • Melissa D

    Nope, you are most definitely not allowed to hide. You’ve put yourself out here for too long. You can do the real world now, too. Go for it.

    Welcome, MTSWW! You must be very special indeed! :)

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  • Hello, MTSWW. It appears you have excellent taste in women!

    Annie, do what your heart directs you to do. I think that you are wise, but wisdom suggests you have to take SOME risks, and I’m glad you’re doing so. There must be something directing you to say “yes” after so many “no” answers – and I for one am cheering for you.

    Romantic love is not a fool’s endeavor: it is a gift worthy of kings and queens. If you get the opportunity for romantic love, and you run away, then you may not forgive yourself.

    I could use a little romance, even vicariously. Show me how it’s done! :-)
    PollyAnna recently posted..Diving into Icy WaterMy Profile

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  • Wishing you all the best, Annie — MTSWW, we’re watching you! :)

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  • Yes, wishing you the best.
    TMWLM (the man who loves me) is very different from me–or I fixated on all the differences when I first fell for him. Nowadays, I often think about how alike we are. He read my blog early on…..might as well show yourself. And it avoids the future weirdness of “hey, I’ve been blogging about you/us…..”
    Once again, wishing you the best.
    Denise Emanuel Clemen recently posted..A Boatload of Things I Don’t Know About My New LifeMy Profile

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    • There is a lot out there about dating bloggers. It seems most romantic prospects like it AT FIRST. They aren’t as keen on their S.O’s blogging about difficulties. I’d be interested to hear how you have handled it!

  • I wasn’t kidding about living vicariously. Frequent updates are requested, please. ;-)
    PollyAnna recently posted..Too muchMy Profile

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  • “My heart is already all up in it in a way that is probably foolish, likely foolish.”

    Sing it sister, I’ve been having that exact feeling! After 3 weeks of conversing and one amazing date, I feel myself slipping over the proverbial edge. Trying to be tough, and come up with reasons not to be such a smitten kitten, when all I want to do is walk around with a great big goofy grin on my face, gushing about how amazing he is, and how much we just click.

    I shall be waiting to read more on how your romance is going!! :)
    fatbottomgirl recently posted..Letting It Be & Letting It GoMy Profile

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