Recently I posted something on Facebook which started a dialog about the way we deal and have dealt with breakups. It was a lively discussion. If you aren’t a fan of this blog on Facebook, surf on over and clicky the likey button. (There is extra content and we have a pretty good ol’ time chatting it up some days!)
A lovely woman named Mary Juleson Herrington posted this:
I love the image of this strong woman dancing around her burning wedding dress, celebrating like my grandparents did on V-E Day.
Then Mary added, “Every August 4th, this will be the 12th year, we call Bagel and Cream Cheese day. My ex tried to kill me b/c I asked for more cream cheese on my bagel. That was the day I left.”
Let that sink in a minute.
Twelve years ago Mary asked for a bit more cream cheese on her bagel and her then husband tried to kill her.
Mary walked out the door and she rebuilt her life. (I hope to publish Mary’s back story in another post.)
That, my friends, is something to celebrate.
Mary wrote: “So, every 8/4, I now have a gf [gluten free] bagel with tons of cf [casein free] cream cheese on it and we celebrate freedom.”
We draw strength from sharing our stories and from hearing the open-hearted and courageous stories of others. In celebrating our sister’s victories, we celebrate our own.
Another reader’s day is August eighth and she offered to have a bagel for Mary on August fourth if Mary would return the favor on the eighth. There was some discussion of designating the fourth National Bagel and Cream Cheese Day in Mary’s honor, and the eighth Kick ‘im to the Curb Day for Heather.
Let us celebrate the victories of these two women and of all the women who have clawed their way out of difficult, unhealthy, and often violent relationships. August is our month to encourage one another and to celebrate the reclaiming of our lives. Have a bagel with more than a schmear of cream cheese! Take a pic. Post it to Instagram and/or Twitter, send it out via Facebook, or email it to me.* Use the hashtags #freedombagel and/or #wegotout. Feel free to leave well wishes and/or to tell us your Un-Anniversary story in the comments below.
Happy Un-Anniversary to those who join the party!
Also, if you can—it is always a good time to give to your local domestic violence shelter: goods, time, and cash—all are usually welcome. Don’t judge. Help.
As Liadan pointed out below, the Violence Against Women Act is currently up for reauthorization in Congress. Parties are divided over different versions of the legislation in the Senate and House, with the Dem-sponsored Senate version favoring expansion of the law to provide more services to illegal immigrants and LGBTQ individuals. The two bills are currently pending reconciliation. You can contact your Congressman here.