How can you say negative things about your kids’ father?
I believe that by giving witness to even the nastier truths, squaring my shoulders, and raising my chin, I am modeling for my children. I’m also hoping other women might see some of the things I write and feel emboldened, especially when the right course of action seems both clear and impossible.
Know that I have considered the interests of my children in firing up this blog and I try mighty hard to refrain from badmouthing Ex in front of them. My daughter generally couldn’t care less if people know the ugly grist of her father’s pitiable choice-making. She is mildly embarrassed, but feels he has nothing to do with her. He has become irrelevant to her evolving self.
Her brothers don’t feel similarly. They don’t want people to know the truth about their father. They find it humiliating that he consistently lets them down, while other boys’ dads are manning-up. They don’t yet understand that his failures do not reflect on them. (Yes, we are getting professional help, thanks for the recommendation.)
Truly, I’m hoping the boys won’t be reading any of this any time soon and I’m banking on the veil of obscurity to carry us over for the next several years. Then, I’ll account to the boys and to their therapists. I am also trusting the good community in which we live to treat them as the noble and worthy boys they are and to help them to become the good men the world needs without regard to their father’s lousehood.
Do your children read your blog?
My seventeen-year-old daughter (Sissy) reads even though she considers my writing excessively “floral.” (I’m a nice mom, I let her live.) She has veto privileges over anything that pertains to her. My thirteen-year-old son (Zeep) and my ten-year-old son (Little Man) are also consulted on content. Neither are especially interested in becoming readers.
Does Ex read your blog?
As of Friday, March 5, 2010, yes. Dang, that didn’t take long did it? He didn’t take it especially well. I suggested he get offa my cloud. Since that time, he has told the children repeatedly that he is not a reader.
Should I send you email?
Yes, please do. I love to hear from folks and try to reply to every email. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Should I send you a Bible?
I’m all set, thanks.
Should I send you a money?
You’re kidding right?